This is my view - my interpretation of what it means to feel devotion...

Devotion to my Kundalini comes in the form of devotion to my teacher. Some of the feelings that have occurred for me when doing the trataka are a deep longing to be near my teacher, a yearning towards completion and now when I look back it seems to me I was into bliss yet since I knew nothing of bliss it appeared to me to be a great yearning or longing. It never took long to fall into the emotional upheaval that I felt when I looked at the picture for trataka. There was always a connection to the teacher. My entire life evolved around my devotion and love for my teacher.

It was not until we did devotion in person that I realized the feelings I had been feeling with the trataka were true devotion and adoration. This is what had been missing for me. With the physical devotion things came together for me. I long - it is a physical pain at times- to be at the feet of the teacher. I have said that is where I feel my home is.

Some will not understand this, they will see it as a misguided placement of devotion. The devotion to the teacher is a devotion to the teacher’s grace. It is a devotion to one's own grace as well. In my mind they all get meshed together, for in my mind chrism's Kundalini and my Kundalini are one and the same and unique and different at the same time. It is much easier for me to bow down to my flesh teacher. The teacher is here and real - I do understand the differences and the sameness.

Today there is a different feeling for me in terms of my teacher. When he gives me feedback it is abit more accepted. The teacher has his way of doing things and it has taken me a while to understand this and to accept all he does as good for my process. My ego is more willing to step back and follow the guidance. Am not perfect yet am closer to fully surrendering to all that is given.

Devotion and surrender and trust all can be developed by doing the trataka. Often times I feel as if chrism is talking to me his eyes move, his mouth moves and he smiles. Then of course from the beginning there were the visits by so many chrisms. The face, eyes and hair all change. It was like going back in time seeing the many faces of the teacher. Never saw him as a female but did see him as a lion once. And some of the faces came back over and over. This is an event – for the devotional feeling is what truly helps move the Kundalini to a new place.
It was not easy for me to be in devotion at first yet I do remember being devotional when younger. Now it has so much more meaning for I know that I have been gifted with Kundalini and it is real, tangible and all of me wants to give my Kundalini all that I am. This is one way to connect to the Kundalini- it is one that can be performed alone or in a group. Either way there are many benefits. Each of us will find the benefits that we need to find.
Gratitude to chrism for allowing me to view his picture and to offer devotion in person to his Kundalini.
Namaste

 The student and the teacher will sometimes scream in egotistic resistance to what is being forced upon them and those screams are heard.

Screams of a child being born.

The screams of an animal being killed.

The screams of agony and the screams of ecstasy all combine into the birth from total physical mundane consciousness into the physical awareness and expression of enlightenment upon the human being

-chrism

 

SNAKE DANCE

Someday you may find yourself being forced by the Kundalini to walk in a certain way. Its a bobbing and weaving sort of walk. A gyrating and spiral way of moving within the idea of what we would call walking or standing still. This is the snake dance.

Named for the Shakti serpent that is bringing this to the individual. Some 30 percent of Kundalini activating people will have this occur within their Kundalini process. It is varied in its expression so not the same for everyone.

These are a series of Kriya, spontaneous movements of the physical body, that will not follow the commands of the ego self completely as a normal person would experience. The Kriyas blend into the normal modes of movement such as walking and in that blending the movement itself is changed. One may start to stagger or lean one way or another. Sometimes even looking a bit inebriated but that is not the case. Eventually a rhythm is found and so it becomes a dance.

Because it is a blending of control over the body at first there is a lack of coordination as the ego resists the movement and the Kundalini forces it. Eventually a form of spiral walking begins to develop. With head bobbing up and down and sideways as in the classic Egyptian side to side neck movement is mixed into the forward side to side hip leading, knee bending locomotive expression. It will often seem as of the individual is impaired in some way.

This is not a snake dance as shown through films or choreographed dance movements for a show or someone trying to worship the serpent through some human ego inspired dance routine. In most cases the person does not begin this willingly at all and is quite surprised to see that this is occurring. Also it would not be an easy thing to replicate as these are divinely inspired movements that are taking place.

This is not about holding a snake or dancing in front of serpents as is often depicted in religious or entertainment based programs. Happens to both men and woman.

It is a transitory experience. It can be frightening for the individual having this especially not knowing what it is and also frightening for those who know the person and wonder why or what has occurred to make this so. It is not to be feared rather it is to be surrendered to.

The expression is unique for all. It will not follow my description though there will be very strong similarities as this is not a dance that is taught through fancy footwork but rather a Kundalini phenomena and a tactile visual movement based expression of grace as it flows and blends itself into the body. It is a beautiful dance when it isnt resisted. - chrism

Schizophrenia and Kundalini

A teacher of one.

 
I am a teacher of one. I give and have given from every aspect of my being, all five bodies of expression into the teachings of the awakened Kundalini and as has been mentioned before the Kundalini will cross over all boundaries of societal acceptance and expectation. So I have crossed these boundaries and traditions and taboos and acceptance within the western societies. I am guilty of this and though it gives me no joy to disturb anyone's status quo it is what it is.
In the eyes of some humanity I am a bad guru. An abuser. A wicked womanizing culprit of dark intention. A cult leader of the worst kind. A savior. A mad man.
Of all of the goodness or hurtfulness that is done it will only be the assumed hurtful qualities that are remembered. I knew from the beginning that this was a possibility. That the Kundalini in me would not necessarily conform to the levels of Victorian standards of conduct. That any gift of mind, of body, of blood, of voice, of divine emanation would be pilloried and condemned. Forced into the judgment and accusations and domination of the un awakened or the struggling ego by those who want and now have but cannot keep or manage due to the excess of their little(i) the inner child, the ego and its affiliates.
Yet I engaged and continue to engage in any and all ways and means in passing the Kundalini grace into people. By the written word, the spoken word, the visual presence, the energetic presence, the total submersion into the grace of the Kundalini regardless of ego or of doubt or of self preservation within society, by pain, by pleasure, by the expression of the emotional body, the intellectual body the physical body, the psychological body, and the spiritual body, by strict spiritual discipline, by strict ego management, I have given and give and have been given to by the Kundalini for about ten years now. Kundalini knows what I do and fosters that doing.
I am enjoyed by some and really severely hated by others. I receive the gifts of grace and the gifts of people and I receive the death threats and the threats of violent dismemberment. I receive the compliments and the scorn. A full spectrum of opinion and judgment upon who I am and what I do. Yet I continue.
It is you the individual that is the final arbiter on what works or does not work for you. If Kundalini teaches anything it teaches that even through a teacher of Kundalini the importance of self discipline and of self assurance and of self responsibility, self validation and self management of our thoughts and actions is the individual responsibility. We don't like to read that or know that so much in the western societies or those that are changing their behaviors in that direction. It is a truth even so.
It is said that there is no one to tell me to STOP. Yet there is. The Kundalini tells me in very clear understandings what to do or not to do. Yet no one but me will feel that direction from grace and this disturbs some because they cannot partake of that correction. Their ego needs that sense of validation that they have course corrected me in some way. That they have now controlled chrism or punished him in such a way that he must now do things that THEY want or desire him to do in the way that THEY wish it to be. Even without the Kundalini if there is no one to read or hear these words, if nobody has interest then there is no harm done. We will often choose to believe in what resonates with our ego expectations of what is right or wrong. It is from there that we often make our choices.
Sometimes we want to blame and to be a victim. We want to attain and be known for greatness. We want to be seen as suffering as a way of gaining the validation of sympathy. We want to have an edge on others. What care we cannot provide for ourselves we search for in others through the actions and positions of being helplessly taken advantage of or receiving and learning what is being offered. By a person like me. We make our own choices.
Doesn't matter that I give freely to all. Doesn't matter that people get to choose and command in what way they would like to learn or receive the grace of the Kundalini. What matters to many is the want of ego aspirations of self absorption. Of ego validation. Of ego control. I do not typically allow this to occur and it can hurt those who are not willing to shift away from it. Sacred agreements are made and when they are broken serious results can be experienced. These sacred agreements are typically broken by the ego. Ego management and self correction can be very very difficult! Not easy at all to be sure but certainly a very strong pathway up the Kundalini mountain.
It is as a rule it seems that those who are assisted will not speak and those who are not assisted, in the way they wish, will complain (loudly). So it is with the teachings that I give and in the way they are given. I have many detractors and they are loud. So I write this as a WARNING to all of you to know and to feel and to think about as you read or participate in anything that I do or give or offer or suggest. I am a tainted teacher to many. A gross abuser. A bad guru. Or a very helpful one and life saver and a point of grace to others.
You decide.
Have the strength of character and integrity to make up your own mind and find it in your own internal integrity how you feel about what I do, why I do, and who I am before you take anything that I say or do as a benefit or a loss. blessings - chrism

master chrism